Positive self talk starts with compassion.
I recently had a conversation about conscious conversations. These conscious conversations took the shape of a dialogue. The dialogue I happened to talk about with my client was the one she had with herself when deciding what she was going to eat.
It might come as a surprise, or not, that there is constant dialogue in your head about all sorts of things. Some dialogues tend to delve into the past, others project into the future, but there is generally a broken record of activity playing in our heads.
A lot of the time we do not notice this, and much of the time we don’t need to. However, when it comes to making decisions about our health, what food we are going to eat for our next meal or whether we are going out for some exercise, this dialogue becomes important.
We are always weighing up what our next move shall be. In the recent conversation I had, it was the discussion about whether to have a scone with a coffee while out meeting a friend. Often, this conversation would be quick and easy. “Oh, whats the point, I might as well have the scone” or “I always have my little treat when I’m out so I’ll do it again”.
However, in this conversation, perhaps for the first time, she decided to have a more balanced conversation with herself. The conversation included things like “Well I’m actually quite satisfied after my breakfast so I don’t think I need the scone now” and “Just because I have got into the habit of having the scone and coffee, this is right for me at this moment”.
For me, good health and a positive relationship with food is not about demonising a particular food or banning it from your list. In a positive relationship, you have an adult conversation with yourself about the choices that you have. Some days, it might be perfectly fine to have the scone and the coffee and simply enjoy the moment for what it is. But the rest of the time, the coffee and scone might be some habit that you created once which served you, but it no longer does.
So the next time you are making a decision about something that will have an impact on your health, pay attention. Are you running off old habits that no longer serve you? Are you able to have an adult non emotional conversation with yourself about food that is based on the here and now? You may want to give it away sometimes, but do realise that the choice is always with you.