Self-forgiveness through Making: Allowing more self-care
self forgiveness through art

I started this piece by simply beginning to knot. In some ways, in reminds of rosary beads, or a type of mediation. As you move the thread through your fingers repetitively, you begin to unwind from your day and ponder the meaning of things…

Self forgiveness as self-care 1
Self forgiveness as self-care 2

So as I knotted I began playing around with the threads, the colours, the amount of knots. I began stitching them into the canvas, looking at them from back and front. I couldn’t help but in aw at how all these knots looked together and worked together. I even became interested in how the threads fell at the back the piece. Was I looking at the piece, as well as myself, from all these angles?

Self forgiveness as self-care 3

I began considering all those little internal knots. What about all those pieces of myself that I would rather hide? Those little knotty awkward, harsh, fearful, perfectionist bits? Rather than keep those inside, how about I re-create them in the knots and threads?

I started to see such a collection. I began to see them outside or me, not necessarily part of me specifically, but rather the part of me that was human. I began to recognise that these knots represented all aspects of me, all aspects of humanity.

Self forgiveness as self-care 5
I realised that I could not see one piece in isolation, but rather as the whole of me. With each out and available for viewing, I began to see that it was all me. How could I have aspect without the other? How could I pick and chose humanities traits that I preferred or didn’t like.

As it was completed, it almost began to sing. All aspects working in harmony. I couldn’t single out one piece anymore, it was all one. It felt as though I could accept all those part os me. Forgive and even welcome all of those aspects I was sure I’d rather get rid of.

Perhaps we are made to perfection. Perhaps there is nothing ‘wrong’ with us. Perhaps it is a life time of accepting, forgiving, loving and caring for ourselves. What is that was possible…..

self forgiveness through art

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